The Demise: March 25-29 2006 Sunday I get a few messages from Neung. Her mother remains to be unconscious and opinions fluctuate as to her possibilities of survival. To me it appears we could also be in for a protracted wait. That night Neung tells me she has to pay the nurses 500 baht a day to maintain her mother. I’ve already delayed my flight again to Europe for twenty-four hours so I inform her to return spherical right here on Monday and I’ll pay for the nurses.

Monday is marginally uneventful. I’m really capable of concentrate on work. At 8.00pm I get a name from American Categorical. They’ve me waitlisted for a Tuesday flight additionally. Do I wish to fly Monday or Tuesday? Possibly it’s destiny. I do not know. However a sixth sense tells me to take the Tuesday flight. So I delay one other 24 hours. Neung arrives together with her stepdad and his different spouse (I’m vaguely dropping the plot now!! Appear to be lots of wives and husbands on this story). He’s a taxi driver and he’s driving her from side to side her mother. They’re all preventing and screaming so I inform them to “mai pen rai”, shutup and concentrate on Neung’s mother.

Tuesday comes and all the pieces is peaceable. I run within the gymnasium, I handle just a few errands, my bags are packed. Sunday night time I had determined to purchase a brand new business, so I’m attempting to prepare the logistics which is not straightforward. My pleasant lawyer responds to my requests by providing to promote me the very business I’ve already agreed to purchase! Effectively, it is Thailand! Mai pen rai…once more!

3pm I get a message from Neung. It merely says, “mother gonna die. In a taxi.” I name American Categorical, beg and plead with them and handle to cancel the Tuesday night time flight. The perfect they will do is to place me on a flight subsequent Monday. I say okay, let’s do it and kind the small print out later. That carried out I name Neung and say I’ll see her on the hospital. She is on the expressway and crying as a result of she simply bought a name from her sister, Ying, that her mother is useless. Not a lot I can say now besides, “see you there”.

I handle to discover a taxi that can take me to Pratumthani. He rapes me for 400 baht. The meter value is about 280, however I say okay. No time to argue. We get to the hospital and simply as I’m paying him Neung calls once more. My briefcase is in a multitude, with my phone, pockets, and lots of different stuff all out on the seat of the car. I inform Neung to satisfy me in entrance of the hospital, pay the driving force and get out of the car.

As I stroll to the hospital I all of the sudden assume – my pockets. I’ve left it within the taxi. I run again however the car is pulling off and the driving force would not see me. Effectively, I assume he’ll discover himself 6000 baht and a couple of bank cards richer. I’m pretty relaxed. My fault. Mai pen rai. Once more! (For anybody wanting to grasp the idea of “mai pen rai”, please learn the weblog entry, “Doing business in Thailand: half one”)

I discover Neung, inform her in regards to the pockets and she or he seems at me like, “my mother is useless and also you managed to lose your pockets”. Her aunt is much less beneficiant. Is the farang attempting to keep away from paying she asks Neung? Oh nicely, by no means thoughts. I can stay with the abuse!

I do know that I have to urgently cancel my bank cards however we go to the morgue first. Actually it’s nothing greater than a funeral store. Numerous relations and buddies have collected there. It’s one hour since Neung’s mother died and already they’ve purchased the coffin or, somewhat, I’ve purchased the box with the nursing cash that if course is now not wanted for the nurses. I’m going to take a look at the box and am, nicely, somewhat stunned to search out Neung’s mother already mendacity there. It’s a humorous second, a really Thai second I believe to myself. Surreal, macabre, bizarre and but very sensible.

This isn’t your European funeral parlor. No black fits and sombre expressions from the men on the morgue. Extra, a group of younger Thai men, dressed like bike riders, watching TV, consuming meals and smoking. Oh nicely!

I inform Neung I have to cancel the playing cards. After which my phone dies. After which her phone dies! OK I assume it isn’t our day! So we play “hunt the electrical energy outlet”. I’ve a small argument with a woman who’s defending the recent water container however ultimately get to plug my phone in. I name Bangkok Bank and ultimately handle to cancel my card. I’d stress that phrase, “ultimately”.

I haven’t got a phone quantity for my Swiss bank card and I’m not certain 100% which card has gone. So I get one of many women who works for me to go to my condo, to search out my different playing cards. I name a buddy in Switzerland who finds a bank quantity for me. After which I name the bank. Press “4” for English the autovoice name says. I do as I’m advised. I get via to the German desk. She speaks no English however transfers me to the English desk. Improper quantity they are saying. Okay. I dial the fitting quantity. Press “4” for English. I press “4” and, no shock, find yourself on the German desk once more. I do ultimately discover an English speaker and we cancel the cardboard with minimal fuss. I now notice I’ve precisely 40 baht (about US$1). So Neung lends me 500 baht. I really feel virtually wealthy!

I wander alongside to the hospital store to purchase some water. Two boys are attempting to make a phone name. They’ll’t attain the phone, they will dial the quantity, however they cannot attain the slot for the cash. So they’re leaping up and all the way down to attempt to get the cash in. I put the cash in for them, go purchase the water and return to the coffin space (cannot consider a greater solution to describe it).

We resolve to go to Rangsit, the place Neung’s mom lived, to get varied paperwork. Within the car, Neung and her stepdad begin arguing once more. Apparently he’s being very silly and really troublesome. Effectively, OK however he’s additionally serving to and I inform Neung this. And I say to her, no matter he asks, no matter he says, simply say mai pen rai! That does form of get everybody laughing a bit. I’m starting to grasp that “mai pen rai” is rather more than phrases. It’s an angle that defines so much about Thai tradition.

We attain Rangsit. The neighbor comes out to satisfy us. She would not know that Neung’s mother is useless so there’s numerous screaming and crying. We go into the home and it is somewhat unhappy since you see an individual’s life laid out earlier than you. Neung’s mother had left the home on Friday morning anticipating to return as regular. She by no means did and so her each day life is uncovered to us all. I really feel that we’re intruding on one thing very non-public.

Neung goes to search out the paperwork upstairs whereas Ying sits on the couch her mother’s photograph albums, after which she begins crying. It is troublesome for me to say a lot. Ying has not lived together with her mother since she was a really small girl and she or he isn’t within the images. I can really feel her unhappiness, for her mom’s loss of life in fact but in addition for the truth that she doesn’t seem in her mom’s recollections.

I have a look at the images myself and I see a life, from younger girl to loss of life. She was stunning when she was younger and had the look of a girl at peace with the world. Because the years cross you see that peace disappear, alongside together with her hopes. Finally you see all her hopes expressed in her daughter Neung. The younger girl disappears, the individual disappears. All the photographs of the final ten or so years are of Neung. It’s touching, however unhappy.

We prepare to depart. I’m the one one there other than the stepdad. He’s all kinds of issues. I begin to wonder if he’s going to take any cash that’s there. Then I see him with Neung’s mother’s glasses. He picks them up and he traces them along with his fingers. He seems via the lenses. He even places the glasses on. And I start to grasp that, in his personal, manner, he’s very unhappy too. He’s looking for one thing, something that can give him recollections of this girl who it will appear he beloved.

I solely met Neung’s mother as soon as I believe. It was 2 years in the past when Neung and I have been collectively. We have been going to Hua Hin for just a few days and Neung’s mother steered we get her stepdad to take us in his taxi. Okay, it was a solution to get cash. I did not thoughts so we agreed. He turns up at my lodge 2 hours late and Neung’s mother goes loopy. Screaming at him, beating the taxi! It was a really humorous second. All the best way to Hua Hin she was screaming at her “husband 방콕변마“.

Does it imply I’ve dangerous recollections? No, simply recollections. From what Neung advised me over time her mom was not straightforward, and possibly not essentially the most beneficiant of individuals, even perhaps grasping. However I saw the images and I do know the place she began. Life might have been harsh to her, life might have made her grasping, life might have made her troublesome however she was nonetheless an individual, with emotions and feelings. Her husband deserted her. She was compelled to surrender her youthful daughter to her sister as a result of she couldn’t maintain two kids. She introduced up Neung alone. She fought arduous in her life.

We get again to BKK they usually drop me off at Saphan Kwai. The funeral shall be at a temple close by. I inform Neung to name me tomorrow and that I’ll get a brand new bank card in order that I will pay for the service. Each she and Ying are fairly upset by now and feeling all the traditional feelings. The neighbor at Rangsit has helpfully advised Neung that she did not go to her mother sufficient! Intelligent factor to say at such a time. So Neung is feeling responsible, saying she was a nasty daughter, and so forth. Ying is simply crying quietly. I say what I can however there actually isn’t a lot I can do besides communicate phrases. We half and I’m going home.

Wednesday. Time to move off to the Bangkok Bank. Neung calls. The funeral will value 30,000 baht. Effectively I’ve my doubts about this however I’ll fear about that later. I get to the bank they usually inform me it takes one week to get a brand new card. I’m starting to assume the world has turned in opposition to me till the teller means that if I pay 300 baht I can have a card instantly. I get a brand new card. I even get a gift, most likely price 301 baht! I switch cash to Neung and say I’ll see her at 6.30pm on the temple.

And there we’re. Now I have to go and purchase some black clothes! All in all it has been an fascinating few days. There was unhappiness for certain. There was humor, unusually sufficient. There have been some good moments and a few dangerous ones too. Demise in Thailand could be very Thai! That isn’t a nasty factor. Neung’s mother died with dignity and she or he shall be remembered with dignity too. My half in that is small. To be there. I haven’t got to hold any of the grief and sense of loss. That’s for Neung and Ying to bear.

Half 3 follows. Authentic article at [http://www.blog.artthailand.net/?p=15]